CALDICOT TOWN AFC

I had the pleasure of watching Chepstow vs Caldicot Town on Saturday, and would like to congratulate the ref on a fine performance.

Lozza: Booked for not shaving

Moreton: Sent off for being head-butted

Mitch: Booked for kicking the ball with his 3rd leg

TB: Sent off for farting

Will Mc: Sent off for not smiling

Lee Puss: Booked for standing still for 50 minutes

Ginty: Booked twice for wearing number 17but never sent off.

Tom Moore: Booked for being ginger

Ben Antell: Booked for having a fat arse

Lighty: Booked for looking like Phil Mitchell

Sprog: Booked for scoring

All in all a good day for the East Gwent Christmas fund.....

Panic over people. I know there has been some unrest in the camp of late, but things appear to be on the up. With Culli now signing for Goytre, Kel & Clivo joining Crooky's Undy revolution and Gaz's mum busy sewing an extra finger onto his gloves since joining Bandit Country champions Lydney Town, people have been crying out for new players. Reports in the press for once actually appear to bare fruit, as Lozza has infact penned a 2 year deal with Caldicot Town.

Sky Sports went with "The Pig is back in the pen"

The Sun went with "The most influential player since Nicky Butt"

The Sport went with "Lozza for Town? Pigs might Fly"

The man once described as "a slower version of Neil Ruddock" has finally broken his silence on the big money move.

Lozza was quoted as saying "Playing under Sparky was like working for Mencap. When I saw my former team-mates crying tears of joy when I signed the forms I knew I had finally come home."

Is anything being done to curtail the loss of players with first team experience, Kel Stevens and Ben Roberts have gone to Undy, Gazza to Lydney and now Gareth Cullimore has followed Jason Thorn, thats 5 players who were either constants or fairly regular players last season, a change of managers won't be of any use if the players have deserted before it happens. The longer this run continues without any sign of a turn around the more players we are likely to lose, who enjoys losing every week?

Following another defeat after playing quite well for large portions of the game its evident that something needs to change, inspiration is required rather than criticism so it is with regret I ask if it is time for the managers to consider their positions, they have done a good job over recent seasons but the team has lost its edge, confidence is at a low and no wonder when you consider our league results. After performing very well for most of last season and at one time having our sights on the league championship we finished dismally with one win from the last eleven games, this form has continued into this season and if its left to continue may be irretrievable. Jason and Simon have been good servants of the club and don't deserve this run of results but we have to face reality, change may be required and I ask them to consider their positions.

I see the new training methods adopted by the youth boys is bearing fruit!!

On the piss with an un-named coach all Friday Night in the club and a 4-1 loss on Sunday?

Have a word will you Darren.....couldn't see Taggert McFerguson letting his boys adopt these techniques

Just heard a cheeky rumour that F has hung up his boots......

Some people think I'm Bonkers, but I just think I'm free.........

Because of all the shit being posted on here from sources who have no interest in football, only members of this site can leave a comment. Those who join the site will be accepted by myself only so please do not try any dodgy membership requests as I will just delete.

Didn't want this to happen but when Wally Wenzel makes complaints about the "Godam shit on the guestbook" then I had to take action.

Cheers and thanks for the understanding.

Hi all, just a quick message to wish you all the very best for the new season. Hope to see you all again soon.

Keatesy

Dave Smith...................................Top coach.

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Town could be without several favourites for the start of the 10/11 season after IPL scouts selected the entire Caldicot Town super 6 to participate in the remaining fixtures. Chip, Bones, Willo, Heps, Clivo & Manager Jason Pritchard will look to fly out to Dubai in the coming days to discuss terms.

Dave Hayward looks set to make a dramatic u-turn and sign for Caldicot Castle. Hayward was quoted in a local paper as saying, "I'm not playing with that shower of shite every week. We played 90 minutes on Saturday without taking a single shot on target". Sparky will move quickly to ensure the big man pens a lucrative deal with the Gwent County favourites.

After weeks of speculation surrounding their future, the "Dads Army" of the 3rd team have finally signed on for another season. Ray, Tony, Porter & Farmer have all signed their East Gwent forms in a bid to be Britains oldest back four.

Just thought I'd let you know that I captured the signature of Dave Jenks last night..............All it cost me was ten Sanny Migs and half an hour with Poppy...........He turned me down on Poppy.

Chip next then my master plan is complete......ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I would like to congratulate Caldicot Town AFC on winning the 6-a-side Cricket tourniment held at sudbrook CC. Led by captain Ben Miles, the team was in inspirational form beating every opponent resoundingly making it 3 years in a row for the footballing giants.

The weather was mixed but with a capacity crowd in high spirits and the beers flowing the action got underway. With Jason thorn away on contract talks with Goytre, and Johnny Reed dead to the world, Caldicot Town AFC had to rely on a few notable inclusions to the squad which could have easily cost the chance of brining the trophy home for yet another year. After a few desperate calls it was left down to a Simon 'San Miguel' Crook and Ben 'Player of the day' Miles to fill in the void.

The day was a complete success with Caldicot Town AFC winning all 3 matches to claim the top spot for the 3rd year in a row. Individual awards were also recieved for Ben Miles who was 'Player of the day', and Mark Williams for 'Man of the final'. Congratulations to the whole team and the individuals who picked up awards. Yet another success for Caldicot Town AFC.